2008 BC

“Back once again for the renegade master!”

Riiiiight. ;-)

Before we begin this edition of “where in bloody hell has BC been?”, I’d like to wish everyone a happy new year, a month overdue! Things have been cray-zay up in here, but I’ll try to get to all of the highlights. When last I wrote, I had just gone out on a date with Dutch, things were entering Sketchville with Dwandy, and Ozzy was … Ozzy. The events that unfolded after my last entry went a little something like this:

Got into a relationship with Dutch, which meant going back to friends-only status with Dwandy and Ozzy. The eH and Match profiles were canceled and everything was on the up and up … Until about two weeks shy of Christmas when things were decidedly beginning to cool off with Dutch. I proposed taking a “break” over the holidays.

A series of lackluster texts in early January confirmed that Dutch and I were over. Ozzy proposed going on a date, thus tentatively beginning a relationship that lasted about three weeks … During which my feelings towards Ozzy weren’t advancing past the “affectionate friends” stage, at which point I told him we had to abandon all attempts at dating and really go back to being friends. At this point, he tells me that he’s fallen in love with me. Code Red!

After about a week of not being in touch, I called Ozzy and he says he’s “facing reality” and moving on. I commence crossing my fingers … And then last night Dwandy takes me out for Thai food, talks about “Thai-ing” me up (and other groan-worthy puns!), and decides that he might just be ready for us to “date” after all, which I don’t recall suggesting or agreeing to.

Have I mentioned that it’s been a crazy year thus far? ;-)

Now let me backtrack a little. I’ve barely mentioned Dutch on this blog, and perhaps that should have been my first indicator that something was amiss. By all accounts he’s a cool guy — good looking, good interests, good sense of humor, good chemistry, good sex (ahem) … But “good” is only good — a lackluster version of great, wonderful, fantastic, amazing, etc. There was no reason not to like Dutch, but not much of an impulse to fall in love either. And this was pretty much mutual when I brought it up — a phone call that was initiated by what I’ll call the “turning point” in our relationship. File this under “Guys, Don’t Do This”:

Dutch and I had plans to meet up after his company’s Christmas dinner (yes, it was a “significant others are welcome” affair that I was not invited to, and I was actually relieved by this fact). The party was supposed to end by 8pm and was being held at a restaurant less than five miles from my place, so Dutch was going to come by right afterward. But by the time that 9:30pm rolled around and I hadn’t heard from him, I decided to take a page straight from Sherry Argov’s book and make other plans. What’s that, you say? I should have been patiently and placidly sitting idle by the phone all night? Oh helllllll no. Things run late sometimes, I completely understand. But there’s no excuse for not sneaking away for a minute and sending me a “really sorry, running late, try tomorrow?” text. So I made other plans, and not 15 minutes later … Well, it went a little something like this:

Dutch (text): Sorry for the delay, should be done in about 10 minutes or so.
BittenChick (text): Waited till 9:30 but ended up making other plans. Hope the party was good times.
Dutch (voicemail, 10 minutes later): Hey, I’m leaving now but I got your text so I guess you’re busy. I’ll call you tomorrow. Good night.

Tomorrow ended up being three days from his message, so that should tell you something. When we finally did chat he apologized repeatedly for not getting in touch sooner, but we ended up not seeing each-other again before the “let’s take a break” chat that happened a few days later. Relationships, especially in their infancy stages, can be tricky when it comes to obligations you have towards each-other. But I firmly believe that there has to be a mutual respect there, and it’s always obvious when it’s missing. And to be honest, it was nice not having to deal with the awkwardness that usually accompanies “Our First Holiday!” — an occasion that I always seem to overcompensate for (with good intentions, but I never know how much to spend, how many gifts are appropriate, etc). So out went Dutch and in swooped Ozzy, and against my better judgment I gave our relationship a second (third? fourth?) go-round.

But dear, sweet, innocent Ozzy unequivocally refuses to “play the game” — the game being the psychological dance that keeps things intriguing. Whereas I was looking for a spicy tango, he was two-stepping all up in my business, even dropping the “marriage” and “love” bombs as casually as one would order from a menu. I know, I know … There’s not enough thread in the free world to weave a red flag big enough! In the meantime, Dwandy had been on the fringes in the flag-free Friends Zone, but he’s very wise to “the game” and we didn’t have much contact following our bowling-night shenanigans until January rolled around. He had also eschewed eHarmony but not for a relationship — turns out he’d become a fan of freebie site OKCupid and had landed himself a college-aged honey who lives an hour away and likes to talk about what her future babies will look like. Why he tells me these things, I have no idea — he knows it will all be used as fodder for my immense amusement! He’d been giving Miss BabyMomma the slip and was looking for a night of, ah, mental stimulation — so we decided to meet up. And while I appreciated how appealing I must have looked in light of the alternative, I’m pretty well convinced that Dwandy and I are meant to be flirty friends at best.

And that brings me to now — the Great Dateless Wonder, and damn happy about it! I might give eHarmony another go in the next month or two, but I’m no hurry. In the meantime, Scott of the excellent eHarmony Cracked blog has asked me if I’d like to provide some female commentary for his upcoming posts, so look for my “pearls of wisdom” (ha!) sometime soon!

Cheers,
BittenChick ♥